Episode Transcript
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[00:01:36] Speaker B: Yo, I don't know what kind of music I got going on today, but you know what? We back exquisites and ignorance. So, yes, we are brought to you by the people of Crux Media. And I'm Vaughn, miss.
Nah, I'm good.
I explain that later. And with me, I have my co host, eb.
[00:01:55] Speaker C: What's up?
[00:01:57] Speaker B: Smoke dog.
[00:01:59] Speaker C: Smoke dog, baby.
[00:02:00] Speaker B: Smoke dog, baby.
[00:02:03] Speaker C: Trying to find the top to this bottle. What's happening?
[00:02:07] Speaker B: What was going on with the bottle? You never put a top on it. You're supposed to be drinking it.
[00:02:13] Speaker C: I got my shot.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: Oh, okay. You got your shot and I got mine. I don't know. Do these things right here give you enough energy?
[00:02:21] Speaker C: Have you ever had these? Ain't that got liquor in it or something? I don't know.
[00:02:25] Speaker B: Liquor in it.
Sparkling, uh, celsius, zero sugar, something? Yeah, I just drink it because, I.
[00:02:35] Speaker C: Don'T know, it says zero sugar, so I ain't drinking it.
[00:02:38] Speaker B: I can't have a Red Bull, so I drink that.
And I definitely can't have no liquor right now because I would.
[00:02:48] Speaker C: I got you covered.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: I got you cover.
[00:02:53] Speaker C: My week has been a very up and down type of week. Might have some good news, might not, but we'll see what happens.
So what you're looking for?
[00:03:08] Speaker B: What's the good news? You don't want to say just yet?
[00:03:11] Speaker C: Well, I mean, I can. I can say, but I can't really say 100% because I'm not allowed to talk about my job without giving a disclaimer.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:03:24] Speaker C: It's part of the policy, so. But I might be taking a promotion.
[00:03:30] Speaker B: Look at you.
Look at you.
[00:03:34] Speaker C: I don't know, I guess I probably avoided it a lot, you know? Damn. But after I talk to, you know, I always talk to my council women, you know, saying, I always talk to my mother and I always talk to my. So far, she's just becoming my best friend. Like, for real, for real.
But I always talk to her, and they seem to always be in time with what they're saying.
[00:04:06] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:04:07] Speaker C: Because they. Birthdays is like a day apart.
[00:04:13] Speaker B: Very good. That you have people that you can. Your intuition, trust them.
[00:04:19] Speaker C: Yeah. Now, they're not gonna lie to me. They tell me where my shit stinks and all that. So I. I'm good with always consulting them about something like this.
[00:04:33] Speaker B: You know, I'm saying, yeah, that's what's up.
My weekend.
[00:04:38] Speaker C: We see what happens.
[00:04:41] Speaker B: Crazy. And my name is nom. Good. Because I want. Listen, don't ask me a 50 million questions now. I'm good. That's all I've been saying for the past two weeks. I'm good.
[00:04:53] Speaker C: Now I'm good. That'd be time for another trip.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm good. Like, don't time for another trip, so. Oh, it's definitely time for another trip.
What's up with your child?
[00:05:08] Speaker C: I need a. I need a first trip. But I got that five for you.
[00:05:12] Speaker B: What you got?
[00:05:18] Speaker C: Maybe some intro.
I'm getting the intro.
[00:05:25] Speaker B: Then push the button over here.
[00:05:37] Speaker C: Uh oh, yeah, yeah.
Yo, yo. Black is time.
[00:05:49] Speaker B: You know, for some reason, this is my favorite part of the show is the. Is your top five. Because I like that. I don't know. Something about the intro music. I pop locking over here. You over here doing that Omarion chess thing. You know what I'm talking about? Heartbeat.
Yeah.
Anyway, what's up? This top five?
[00:06:11] Speaker C: All right. So I feel the need to help my fellow man out on this one. Now. I'm saying, cuz I feel like women be slipping in a pimpin and slacking in a mackin.
Oh, yeah.
So don't be making that face.
Just get your pen ready.
[00:06:39] Speaker B: You know, I stay ready for your. Let me give me a clean sheet of paper. Hold on.
[00:06:49] Speaker C: There you go. You probably not gonna write nothing. So this one is Eb's top five. Dick don'ts.
Dick don'ts. And don't do this shit to the dick. Because I feel like y'all need to start appreciating the male genitalia more.
You know what I'm saying? Y'all show enough appreciation. Y'all be down with the get down. But now I don't feel like I show enough appreciation. You know what I'm saying? Okay, so number five, don't shame the penis, all right?
Because penis shaming is body shaming.
All right. So in 2024, you know, you're not allowed to body shame. You know, you can't tell them all fucking fat.
So, you know, I'm saying.
Now, if y'all gonna talk about him behind his back, that's cool.
But don't be disrespecting a man to his face. You know what I'm saying? Work with that thing. If he got teeny meat, work with that thing. You know what I'm saying?
Help a nigga out.
Stop bruising niggas egos. You know what I'm saying?
You ain't got to call him back. Now, you could go ghost anytime you want, but, I mean, leave that man out here because, you know, send him out there well so he could perform good for the next one that he gonna disappoint, right? That's number five. Number four is don't judge your books by its cover.
Now, I'm saying, cuz, some people are showers and not are. Yeah, some people are showers and some people are growers.
Now, I'm saying. So you might be pleasantly surprised you, when you see, you know I'm saying, that Hershey kiss turned into a snicker ball.
So don't judge a book by his cover.
Now, you could judge him on that performance.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: Okay.
Okay. That's. That's fair.
[00:09:13] Speaker C: You get him on the performance. Now, saying, I. Number three is don't want more.
I need you out of a lax out here in these streets.
You know I'm saying? Because I feel like. I feel like when y'all get a good thing, y'all be trying to go for round six.
Y'all be wailing on women, be bucking on it like, all right, so niggas is good with one or two.
Mike could even squeeze out three.
But after, why, that should start to hurt. Like, you talking about muscle bruising, you know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like, you know, I feel like if y'all helped out more and then put all the weight on us, y'all could make this thing go one round.
You know what I'm saying?
So that's what I'm saying. If you ain't got no toys, holler at your boy. I got a couple left.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: Let me say, all I got is one round in me.
I ain't got no more.
Listen, that's all I. That's all I need.
[00:10:28] Speaker C: Listen, so what's was one good long round?
How many minutes you got in that round?
[00:10:39] Speaker B: I can't put a time limit on it. I could just tell you when I've.
[00:10:48] Speaker C: I'm saying like 45, 45 minutes to an hour.
[00:10:52] Speaker B: It just depends.
[00:10:55] Speaker C: That's what I'm saying. So now, that's what I'm saying. Now, most men, if we ready, we ready, we might pop off in like 5 seconds. We might pop off in five minutes. We might pop over 5 hours.
[00:11:10] Speaker B: Me, it don't depend on you. It depends on me.
[00:11:13] Speaker C: That one saying, helping they go a little bit.
[00:11:16] Speaker B: Just a little bit.
[00:11:19] Speaker C: Helping it go.
[00:11:20] Speaker B: Take me there.
[00:11:21] Speaker C: You know, I'm saying, get you one of them toys.
Nah, but we just. Nothing solo. It's in addition, I'm telling you, when you.
[00:11:37] Speaker B: I.
[00:11:38] Speaker C: So you already know when your guy got that stroke that's about to send you over, that right there. Right there. Right.
Add a little boom to the. To the equation.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: You trying to get give me heart palpitations and hell, yeah, I'm.
[00:12:00] Speaker C: I'm trying to die in this motherfucker.
[00:12:03] Speaker B: And you talk about muscle bruising.
[00:12:06] Speaker C: Yeah, ain't nobody trying to bruise your.
[00:12:08] Speaker B: Trying to get me nerve shock.
[00:12:11] Speaker C: Listen, as long as you hit that big o, I think you good. Then we get over here, we get this. Because you said you only got one in you. One round in you. We can make that one round a week.
Long as you go to. Long as you go to work skipping three of them. Three out of them. Five days.
You know, saying, make Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday great. And you will be looking forward to Saturday because Thursday and Friday, you gonna be wore out by work. And then you gonna be thinking about that Saturday night, date night.
[00:12:50] Speaker B: I'm like, leave me alone.
[00:12:52] Speaker C: You might have to get you on the hood of that thing.
[00:12:55] Speaker B: Now I'm gonna be like, leave me alone.
[00:12:59] Speaker C: One a week. One a week. All right. So number two, I'm gonna study it. Don't over tease the dick, cuz. Blue balls is a real thing.
Know I'm saying, don't be out here walking around here with your little outfits on, telling niggas nope.
Yeah, you know how you. You know how you do when you walk around the house and that little thing that he like?
[00:13:31] Speaker B: Don't look. Yeah.
[00:13:33] Speaker C: I'm gonna need you to put on a house coat. No.
[00:13:38] Speaker B: You'Re the one that's not comfortable, so don't look.
[00:13:40] Speaker C: Now you out here making my man do exercises. He ain't ready to work out then.
[00:13:47] Speaker B: That sound like a you problem?
[00:13:48] Speaker C: No. This is why we working on y'all. Cause y'all don't.
Then when you ready? Later on.
[00:13:55] Speaker B: At night.
[00:13:57] Speaker C: In life. Yes.
[00:14:02] Speaker B: Ownership, accountability. Narcissist. Yeah. Okay, whatever.
[00:14:07] Speaker C: Hey, listen, I ain't say I wasn't no big, giant red flag.
I'd be fat back in red flags.
[00:14:20] Speaker B: Oh, Lord.
[00:14:22] Speaker C: So please be intentional with your shit because you know, you know we like what you got. So I'm gonna need you to keep that under wraps until you ready to unwrap, okay?
So number one, number one, number one.
Yo, y'all gotta stop neglecting morning wood.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: I'm with you.
[00:14:52] Speaker C: Now, listen, don't let that wood plank pass you by.
You better go on a jump on that fucking thing. Is there for a reason?
That's probably cuz y'all told us no for a whole month.
You know, I'm saying, I'm just stressed. I need some time. No, fuck that. You see, this morning wood is a green light to jump on that thing.
And you ain't got to do no extra work. Y'all could get a good 15 minutes in, in and go jump in the shower and go to work.
So please stop neglecting the morning.
[00:15:36] Speaker B: I don't neglect now that because I need my day to start. Right.
[00:15:40] Speaker C: I'm telling you, that's like a. I.
[00:15:43] Speaker B: Need some help in my step. I need some joy in my. My father. Like, I need all the help I can get to make sure I have day.
[00:15:55] Speaker C: You ever see, uh, somebody in church get that good shout?
[00:16:00] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:16:01] Speaker C: That's what that is.
Why do I have this thing up on my damn strength?
[00:16:10] Speaker B: That's what I'm talking about.
[00:16:12] Speaker C: I'm having some issues, right?
[00:16:15] Speaker B: Oh, Lord. What kind of issues?
[00:16:17] Speaker C: Can you see me?
[00:16:19] Speaker B: What's up, Ellen?
[00:16:22] Speaker C: I can't see nothing. My computer. Done.
Yeah, so just going and get into that, uh, next segment, cuz I'm trying to work this out.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Oh, Lord.
All right, let's get into our stories now. I'm at to put my glasses on for this right here.
I need the bifocals.
[00:17:16] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:17:18] Speaker B: So you know how you teach, you look at the bottom. You have to look at the bottom of my bifocals.
So this sort. This story is crazy. The title is attorney pull. Phil Pringles prank leads to suspension pool field. Pringles prank.
[00:17:42] Speaker C: How big was the can of. How big was the can of Pringles?
[00:17:45] Speaker B: It don't even matter. It's cool. Filled Pringles prank. There's not a prank when you got it filled in Pringles.
[00:17:55] Speaker C: I don't know if it was a Lincoln log. That's a pretty good prank.
[00:18:00] Speaker B: So check this out. You nasty. All right. It says on November 23, 2023, Jake a Blakesley, a criminal defense attorney in Caldwell, Ohio, was suspended by the Supreme Court of Ohio for practicing law for one year. With six months of suspension, stayed his crime, tossing a Pringles potato chip canned full of his own feces in the parking lot of a victim's advocacy center and failing to control his own bizarre impulse. I wish I could show you all the video. It says. On the morning of November 30, 2021, Blakely's defecated into an empty Pringles can and then left his home to attend a pretrial hearing for his client, who had, who was a defendant in a capital murder case. However, as he drove past the haven of Hope Victim Advocacy Center. Advocacy center in Cambridge, Ohio, which was scheduled to appear in court opposite of him in the trial, Blakesley threw the pringle can into the parking lot before heading into the courthouse. Carpenter Wilkinson, who works at the advocacy center, saw the incident and reported it to the police. Surveillance video also confirmed Blakesley using the advocacy center as his drop zone. Blakesley claimed that he was not targeting anyone in particular, but rather that he had thrown the feces field can to blow off steam. He also admitted that he had pulled the Pringles crank at least ten times that year, imagining the look of surprise on the feces of anyone who found the cans. He is nasty. Yet despite the claims of a Pooh prankeen, the court felt that Blakes Lee misconduct required a suspension, stating his aberrant conduct has adversely reflected in his own fitness to practice law and brought discredited profession through significant media attention. Blakesley pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct of littering.
[00:20:29] Speaker C: They should have called it a poop zone.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: Was it out? I mean, what even necessary him to do that? The fact that he's done it ten other times, I think he's fascinated with it. It's not even a prank at this point.
He got off on that. I think when people do dumb, nasty, bizarre stuff like that, they get some type of exhilaration from it.
[00:20:52] Speaker C: I wouldn't know how he got the shit in the can and how big the can was.
[00:20:57] Speaker B: I don't know. He looked like his dunks could be real big.
[00:21:02] Speaker C: Lincoln log. So it might be a full size Pringle can.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: Yeah, it doesn't matter. Even the mid sized Pringle cans is still big.
But that's nasty.
[00:21:18] Speaker C: I mean, you just gotta laugh at this.
[00:21:21] Speaker B: Should he have been suspended? Should he have been suspended for that? He didn't throw it on anybody.
[00:21:28] Speaker C: Yeah, but you. It's unlawful plopping.
[00:21:35] Speaker B: I mean, he did put it in a can, and, like, he just went and just took a dunk on the. On the side, you know, saying, in.
[00:21:41] Speaker C: The property, only put it in the can for transport.
He won't get nothing in the car.
[00:21:49] Speaker B: I mean, he was polite.
[00:21:51] Speaker C: Man, fuck that. I would have lit that shit like a candle.
Lit that shit like a candle.
[00:21:58] Speaker B: But then what if it got on somebody, you know, that just changed the whole game.
[00:22:03] Speaker C: But what was the point? What was the point behind?
Like, you just.
Shitty motherfucker.
[00:22:14] Speaker B: I'm just. I don't know. This is nasty. Then how you gonna wash your hands? The fact that he's done it multiple times, that just. That's scary.
[00:22:21] Speaker C: Got that shit down to a size.
[00:22:24] Speaker B: Ew.
[00:22:27] Speaker C: I don't know. But if it was a morning glory, he might have needed a bigger can.
[00:22:35] Speaker B: What if he ever had diarrhea and just sit in the can?
[00:22:40] Speaker C: Probably shit on his hand.
[00:22:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
Yeah.
[00:22:46] Speaker C: Okay. Teachers of Martin.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: So I look like the blind person who can't see?
That's what I look like.
[00:22:55] Speaker C: You miss Trinidad from the college.
[00:22:57] Speaker B: Yeah, that's her name, but I think it was. What? Not now, Campbell. What's the other one?
Iman.
Yeah, it was Iman.
Okay, so the next story that we have is a deceptive diner fakes heart attack to escape 20 restaurant bills.
So how they find out about. Tell you. So, in September 2023, a 50 year old Lutheran thanian man only identified as. And I may have jacked his name up, but it sounds like Aitis.
[00:23:36] Speaker C: Adidas.
[00:23:37] Speaker B: It ain't no Adidas. I think it's Aitis J. He ordered seafood and two whiskeys at the L. Wayne Comer restaurant, Tapiria. Tapiria in Alicante, Spain. Now, y'all know my little country ass cannot pronounce half the shit, but we gonna go with it.
[00:24:01] Speaker C: They got little ass.
[00:24:04] Speaker B: You know how bad I struggled saying that girl name last week? And now they gotta be saying some man name from Spain. My tongue ties up. But, you know, we gonna do the best we can. Here we go. However, at the end of Aitis meal, Moises, Dominic, you know that look like.
[00:24:23] Speaker C: Dome naked.
[00:24:26] Speaker B: English names. Moses, Dominique, because that's. That's the name closest to the word I can pronounce.
The restaurant manager was told, and we gonna say Adidas because I got tiny pronouncing people name right. Adidas was attempted to dine and dash, evading the outstanding bill of $36.75.
When Dominique confronted Adidas, Adidas claimed that he was going to the hotel room to get cash. But regardless of his plea, the restaurant staff refused to let him leave. At that point, Adidas dramatically clutched his chest and fell into the floor as if he was having a heart attack. Oh, shoot.
[00:25:10] Speaker C: Call him a marin. That's a marin. And ain't no Karen, that's a Marin.
[00:25:15] Speaker B: As if he was having a heart attack. Despite his stellar performance, the restaurant staff didn't fall for the the roost and call the police rather than an ambulance. However, this was not adidas first attempt at dodging the restaurant bill. In fact, this was the 20th such incident within a year, making the the con man well known for his local police force. Apparently, Adidas was known to masquerade as russian tourists, dress in designer clothes, and visit fancy restaurants around Alicante.
Once inside the restaurant, he would begin his order with a russian salad, drink multiple glasses of whiskey, enjoy a hearty main course of whatever that is, or lobster, and then have more whiskey for dessert.
Okay, whatever. Each time, heart attacks to get out of paying a bill. This time, however, Adidas was caught in jail for 42 days.
I heard of some clever things, and, you know, sorry for me messing up Dominique, adidas and everybody else. Name it where you go out, fake like they're sick or. Oh, no, no, no. Let me tell you, it does happen. They eat. Oh, I don't like that. It don't taste right. Send it back.
Oh, I found a piece of hair in my food.
After you don't ate it all. It's almost gone.
And right in the bottom, you see this little piece of hair?
[00:27:10] Speaker C: Never. I never been a party at none of that.
No, I'm saying. Only thing I know is I know some people that bang on gratuity.
Because you shouldn't charge me no damn gratuity.
If your party size. If your party size is over a certain amount, I cool charge me gratuity. But my meal plus tax cost x amount of money, I ain't sign up for gratuity.
[00:27:42] Speaker B: Okay, so if you did have gratuity, do you still leave a tip?
[00:27:46] Speaker C: Hell fucking no. And I'm not paying a gratuity neither.
[00:27:51] Speaker B: You know, some states ban gratuity. You know, unless it's.
[00:27:57] Speaker C: You have to have, like, a party size. I think it has to be, like, eight people or something like that for you to charge gratuity.
[00:28:05] Speaker B: So when.
[00:28:06] Speaker C: And even then, you have to announce it.
[00:28:09] Speaker B: Okay, so when they do charge and they have it on your bill, you tell them I'm not paying it. Do they take it off?
[00:28:16] Speaker C: Nah. Usually the cops get called, but if.
[00:28:20] Speaker B: You don't, eagle, is it illegal to charge gratuity under a party of eight?
[00:28:25] Speaker C: It's not necessarily illegal, but it's not.
You can leave. You can leave payment for the. As long as you're willing to pay for your food plus the tax, plus the drinks or whatever, then you're not wrong.
You can argue gratuity.
[00:28:49] Speaker B: Well, I've witnessed people get a nice, healthy size course meal and get towards the end of the meal and want to make a complaint because they saw a bug or they saw hair or they saw something looked like it shouldn't be in there and want their food cocked.
[00:29:12] Speaker C: Yeah. Now, the most I ever did was I went to a diner, which I would never go back to. Old bridge diner.
Straight garbage.
But, uh, I ordered a burger, and I ordered my burger well done. Don't give me no raw ass burger. No little red in the middle. Like, I ain't playing none of that.
I want my shit damn near dry. That's how I like my burger.
You know what I'm saying?
[00:29:37] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:29:38] Speaker C: Well, not. I mean, not really dry, but, you know, I don't want to see no red.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:29:44] Speaker C: I don't want to see no pink. So I get the sandwich. The sandwich come out. It got blood. It's so much blood that it's soaking into the bread.
[00:29:53] Speaker B: Ew. Then that's. Nah.
[00:29:55] Speaker C: So I say, yo, like, this shit is raw. Like, I want a cooked burger. So the motherfucker take it back.
And they. Instead of them making me a new burger or at least making me new fresh dressings, they took the burger, threw it back on the grill, finished cooking it, and then put it back on the same bun.
[00:30:19] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:30:19] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm not eating that.
[00:30:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I won't.
[00:30:24] Speaker C: I'm like. Because they can still have my bite mark in it and everything. I'm like, I'm not eating that shit.
[00:30:29] Speaker B: Don't keep. Ain't got time to be wasting food right now.
[00:30:32] Speaker C: That shit the fuck out my face is a good thing. I ordered a piece of carrot cake, or else I wouldn't eat nothing that day.
[00:30:38] Speaker B: Oh, wow. So you were still hungry after eating a carrot cake? Because that.
[00:30:42] Speaker C: Straight facts. Fuck old bridge diner. If you an old bridge, New Jersey. Fuck old bridge diner.
[00:30:47] Speaker B: I said open.
[00:30:50] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:30:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:53] Speaker C: Fuck them niggas.
[00:30:55] Speaker B: All right, this is our last story, so hold on.
[00:31:01] Speaker C: Come on. Come on, now. You about to fire with the glasses.
I told you, don't shame me.
[00:31:10] Speaker B: Oh, lord. Oh, that's number. What?
[00:31:16] Speaker C: That was number five. That was number one. Yeah. Number five. That's what I meant.
Oh, look at you. I told you, hang that on the wall. Now.
[00:31:25] Speaker B: I ain't gonna do all that.
I don't want him know I'm paying attention.
This cheat code, that is a cheat code. This is my cheat code. Okay, and so the last story that we have is unconventional quest to satisfy hot pockets craving. What you think the story is about?
[00:31:47] Speaker C: Coochie.
[00:31:49] Speaker B: Coochie. So the hot pocket is the coochie.
[00:31:52] Speaker C: That's a hot pocket.
And when you menopausal, that's the pocket. Hotter.
[00:32:00] Speaker B: Okay, well, let's find out what this quest to satisfy hot pocket cravings is about.
At approximately 03:30 a.m. 27th, 2020. This is in the height of the pandemic.
Police were dispatched to a Wells Fargo bank in, is it Cholas View? A neighborhood in the southeastern portion of San Diego, California.
[00:32:27] Speaker C: I gotta stop you right there.
Is they naming cities after mexican people, as you call a Mexican? A cholo.
[00:32:40] Speaker B: It's so cholers would be ll a s. How you pronounce this?
[00:32:46] Speaker C: Cholas would be the women, it says.
[00:32:49] Speaker B: Okay, again, I am from South Carolina. Okay, I don't speak Spanish, so we gonna pronounce it the way that I see it. Cholas.
[00:33:00] Speaker C: The cholas.
[00:33:01] Speaker B: The females view.
[00:33:02] Speaker C: The female gangbanger view. Let's get a.
[00:33:06] Speaker B: Okay.
After a burglary alarm sounded. All sound. Okay, let me back up.
We're dispatched to a Wells Fargo bank in Cholas View, a neighborhood in the southeastern portion of San Diego, California, after a burglary. Burglary alarm sounded. I sound so retarded. Sorry. However, this was not your typical burglary.
Rather than someone looking for cash, the alarm company told police that surveillance cameras inside the bank capture a man inside a break room using a microwave.
When police arrived on the scene, they found a broken window near the bank's drive through ATM. At that time, the security company was able to confirm that the suspect was still inside. So officers drove, drew their guns, and used a megaphone to tell the man inside to surrender and come out with his hands up. Then they warned the suspect warned the suspect that the k nine would be sent in if he did not surrender. After getting no response, the officers knocked the bank door down and sent in the k nine dog before entering the building to retrieve the suspect. Moments later, officer were seen walking the man out of the bank, holding his hands behind his back. The unidentified man later told the police that he was homeless and that he had broken into the bank to use the microwave and ate two hot pockets while inside when the man was asked if the hot pockets were worth it, he responded, hell, yeah, it was worth it.
He was just hungry.
Microwave. He ain't steal no money. He ain't bother nobody. I mean, all he wanted was a microwave. He could have went to the nearest 711 and used the damn microwave. Sir, you probably use the microwave out of the place you bought it from or stole it from, whatever you go break in the bank.
[00:35:07] Speaker C: I. So do you, do you eat hot pockets?
[00:35:13] Speaker B: I do not. I used to.
[00:35:15] Speaker C: Okay, so.
So how long does it take to cook a hot pot?
[00:35:21] Speaker B: Just one hot pot a minute, I think.
[00:35:27] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:35:28] Speaker B: It shouldn't take that long because the inside, it gets super hot. They tell you caution, inside, hot.
[00:35:34] Speaker C: All right, so let me ask you another question.
What time did they run up in this?
What time did this start? What time they get the burglar alarm?
[00:35:46] Speaker B: 03:30 a.m. that's how long it takes.
[00:35:49] Speaker C: To cook a hot pocket.
[00:35:54] Speaker B: 333 minutes.
[00:35:55] Speaker C: It takes three minutes and 30 seconds to cook a hot.
[00:36:03] Speaker B: Do you think he should have went to jail?
[00:36:08] Speaker C: I'm sorry.
I'm still stuck on the fact that at 330, this nigga spent three minutes and 30 seconds cooking a hot pocket in a fucking bank.
[00:36:21] Speaker B: I mean, he was just trying to use a microwave.
[00:36:25] Speaker C: Oh, shit.
[00:36:28] Speaker B: Do you think he should have been arrested?
But the fact that he said it was worth it.
[00:36:38] Speaker C: Yo, dad, nigga was high as fuck and he had the munchies. You got damn right it was worth it.
Should he have been arrested? Yeah, you breaking the entering.
He ain't still nothing, which is fine, but you, you broke. You did a DNA on some federal shit. So at least where you going, you gonna have hot pockets too.
[00:37:09] Speaker B: I'm just saying, I don't think that he should have been arrested. I think he should have just got. Cause he didn't take anything.
[00:37:22] Speaker C: You broke that man alone. No, you broke into a bank which.
[00:37:32] Speaker B: Federal property was hungry.
[00:37:35] Speaker C: That's like breaking it. That's like breaking into the CIA. Like just some stupid shit you don't do.
You get a broken in somebody house.
[00:37:45] Speaker B: And, you know, went to the nearest 711 and used the hot microwave because they got.
[00:37:51] Speaker C: He probably stole the shit from 711.
[00:37:54] Speaker B: So he couldn't use down the street. And. And he.
[00:37:58] Speaker C: Then again, if he's in Mexico, Mexico. If he's in fucking California. He should have been. He should have been heating up a bean burrito.
[00:38:08] Speaker B: No, he should have been heating up a.
Yeah, burrito.
[00:38:12] Speaker C: A burrito. Because they do a lot of Mexican.
[00:38:15] Speaker B: It's a lot of them.
[00:38:17] Speaker C: San Diego.
[00:38:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:20] Speaker C: Taco one.
[00:38:22] Speaker B: So, um, we better get into a weird sex segment.
[00:38:28] Speaker C: Hot tacos enough.
[00:38:39] Speaker B: Or even where so weird sex?
[00:38:42] Speaker C: I don't know. I didn't get the rundown. I got a.
[00:38:48] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
Is it about the doctor caught raping a pregnant woman undergoing a c section?
[00:38:57] Speaker C: Oh, that nigga. That nigga was wild.
Yes.
[00:39:02] Speaker B: Ew. Okay. A doctor in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, has been arrested allegedly raping a woman while a cesarean section was being performed on her. I don't know if I want to read this. Yeah. According to police, Giovanni Quintella Lazara.
Why y'all got me cut pronouncing these people name? 32 years. 32 was arrested last week in early hours of July 11 in Rio de Janeiro at the women's hospital and south.
You know, I'm looking at this. I'm looking at you now.
Yeah, over there. Over there. In parts of the country. According to the Daily Mirror report, suspicions of.
And we're going to call him by his first name. Giovanni conducted had already been raised when he performed two c sections earlier that day. The nurses recorded him during his third c section and were able to catch him allegedly assaulting the patient following the arrest. Police say they were already investigating whether a similar attack happened to the first two. Patients have said the other three women treated on different days have come forward to accuse him of abuse. According to the Mail online report. According to the brazilian newspaper, Globe was in the newspaper, he was indicted for the rape of a vulnerable person after he was arrested. This penalty ranges from eight to 15 years in prison.
Giovanni has also raised suspicions by allegedly having heavily sedated women who were undergoing c sections. Hospital employees were able to change delivery room Giovanni used for his third c section on the day. The order to file him, to film him. Oh, shit. To film him successfully. To conduct the alleged attack, Giovanni positioned himself at the woman's head. As surgeons began work on delivering the baby, the team working only a feet away from him was able to see the patient from the neck up. The alleged rape lasted for ten minutes. Oh, wow. At the end of the alleged attack, Giovanni was also recording cleaning the woman's mouth with a garbage laws. Oh, my gosh. On Monday, the Regional Council of Medicine of the state, Rio de Janeiro, launched an internal inquiry and open proceedings to expel the medic. This behavior, in addition to deserving our reputation, constitutes a crime which must be punished in accordance to the legislation. Legislation enforced, the public agency said in the statement. They added that at the time, they were focusing on providing support to the alleged victim and her family.
Giovanni defense said they were waiting to have access to all the testimonies before addressing the allegations. According to the reports, the defense claimed that it has not yet obtained full access to the testimonies of element of evidence that were producing during warming up of the arrest warrants.
Yeah. And his defense also confirmed the accusations against Giovanni. Newsweek has contacted the Rio de Janeiro police for comments. So first of all, what kind of mind state are you in? These people are sedated, they're under the heaviest drug.
[00:43:14] Speaker C: Like his women.
[00:43:16] Speaker B: Yes. And you up there having oral sex with these people popping over the.
[00:43:24] Speaker C: Issue with that is my issue with that is when you, when, when you sedated like that and they got the little thing in your mouth, ain't the mouth dry?
He lube. Did he lube.
[00:43:41] Speaker B: Dry asset on the mouth because it is dry and the cracking and stuff.
And then they have that, that goes all the way down in your throat, but because your mouth is open.
[00:43:59] Speaker C: So my other thing is, nobody noticed the pelvic thrust.
[00:44:04] Speaker B: Nobody ain't noticed him rocking back and forth.
[00:44:07] Speaker C: He just rocking like a little pelvic thrust. No, I'm saying.
But shout out to Jeff. What up, Jeff? Yo, can we get some weather?
[00:44:18] Speaker B: Shout out to me for reading this book. Bullshit.
[00:44:22] Speaker C: True that.
[00:44:26] Speaker B: Shout out to me.
[00:44:28] Speaker C: But I do want to say, since Jeff is on here, I do got that booty slather on deck. I got the bottles, I just ain't make the labels.
Booty slather.
[00:44:48] Speaker B: Hold on, before we get the booty slather, I think this man, who knows how many victims, shout out to the staff that, you know, advocate for these patients that don't know what's going on. We trust ourselves with the healthcare professionals and we don't know what's going on when we sedate it. I don't think we know. We wake up not knowing what happened.
Booty slather, he's him. And poof, feeling Pringles. They need to be together because they nasty.
[00:45:22] Speaker C: Oh, I'm telling you, that booty slather gonna have you hollering, I'm moist.
[00:45:26] Speaker B: Well, they don't need any booty smothering, smattering, whatever you said, they don't need any of that.
[00:45:34] Speaker C: But you know what would have saved him? You know what? It made this man not get caught. I court what since he and Rio de Janeiro.
[00:45:42] Speaker B: Rio de Janeiro, yeah, my mouth ain't.
[00:45:45] Speaker C: Want to say that in Rio.
You know, I'm saying, why does nigga ain't work at a bBL office.
You would have never got caught.
I'm saying them chicks would have been getting a bbls. You slide one off in them and send them home. They going home.
[00:46:09] Speaker B: That's nasty.
[00:46:11] Speaker C: I'm just trying to help.
[00:46:12] Speaker B: Oh, no, you're not helping.
I'm about to put you, Phil, and Pringle, and this nasty doctor all in the same category. You tell me go to the BBL.
That's nasty.
[00:46:25] Speaker C: Bbls is trash anyway. We need to motivate women not to get them shits anyway.
[00:46:29] Speaker B: Amen.
Flat booty matter.
[00:46:35] Speaker C: Listen, even a flat booty is soft.
[00:46:40] Speaker B: It's natural.
[00:46:42] Speaker C: Put that on a pringle.
[00:46:46] Speaker B: Ew.
Ew.
Anyway, y'all tell Jeff.
[00:46:53] Speaker C: Jeff need to type in the weather report because he ain't getting on.
[00:46:59] Speaker B: A weather report.
What's the weather report about, Jeff?
[00:47:05] Speaker C: I type it in.
We got another story.
[00:47:14] Speaker B: We have another story. No, I think that. I think that's it. We better close out.
Evie, tell the people how they can follow you.
[00:47:25] Speaker C: Yo, you can find me on Instagram as b I g k I d e m v I. Underscore chops as well as the Facebook page. Experts in ignorance and Instagram. That's grits, the letter in ignorance.
[00:47:49] Speaker B: He want the pringles that we talking about.
[00:47:52] Speaker C: The pee and the Pringles stand for poo.
[00:47:55] Speaker B: It's like, I ain't gonna probably never eat pringles again.
Cuz I like the sour cream and I like the pizza flavored ones.
[00:48:07] Speaker C: Now you gotta deal with booty flavored ones.
[00:48:11] Speaker B: That's nasty. Anyway, y'all can catch me on instagram at one Bonchella. You can also catch me here kicking it with my crew. Experts ignorance. Every Thursday.
We'll come back in the fall so we can recap part two of power book two. See how that plays out. I'm interested to see how that is going to end.
[00:48:35] Speaker C: Oh, yo, they actually leaked that ghost coming back?
[00:48:40] Speaker B: Well, I've heard many stories that some of the reoccurring the flagship are coming back to make their grand finale. So it'll be great to see how they end. But, you know, again, they probably ended this so ghost can make his reappearance.
[00:49:01] Speaker C: See what's up. Maybe that money got right or something got right.
[00:49:05] Speaker B: So, you know, they got some tricks up their sleeves. I hope so. I'm excited to when that come back. And I think September 6, if I'm not mistaken.
[00:49:14] Speaker C: Yeah, September 6.
[00:49:15] Speaker B: And until then, I'm not sure when Tommy's season is coming back or when Kanan's season is coming back. But I'm here for it all until then.
We'll catch y'all later.
Peace.
